I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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