I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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