watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
