Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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