As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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