addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
