seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My pussy is not your playground.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
