As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
