My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
