Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
