i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
