My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Randomize