Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
