So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
