Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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