Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
