I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
