I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Randomize
