I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
