He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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