I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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