called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
