She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
