Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize