end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
