his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
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He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
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He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I have post one night stand depression
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