I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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