i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
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