Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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