Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
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Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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