I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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