I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
