She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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