Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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