I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
