I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
