Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
She told me I should be a condom model.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
