I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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