O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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