I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
