but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
