WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.