I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize