Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
