he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.