the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.