On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?