Hey man sorry I got all grabby
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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