just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
