I am puke
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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