i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
