i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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