I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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