I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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