he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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