if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Randomize
