ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
