told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize
