Tell her she can't have a vagina
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize