if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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