Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
