Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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