Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
